Home: February 2005 Archives

Sunday, February 27, 2005
similarities and differences

Dear angel of mine,

At first blush, it seems that we should never have started dating. But, although we're so radically different in certain areas, we work so well together. I've been thinking about this for some time, and I've got a few observations.

Primarily, I think that our differences serve to stimulate us. Although we have similar attitudes in many areas, there are areas where you and I will never see eye to eye. One of them, no doubt, is my fondness for absurdity in movies. Another is probably your fondness for high end cosmetics and their applicability for men. But although I disagree with you in places, I respect your right to your own opinion.

I don't expect everyone to share my opinions. (After all, as a Dom, I don't tend to share very well - something about having to have my own way in certain things....) I don't even expect to keep holding ALL my opinions forever. One of the best things about this world is that we all keep getting more and more information. With every bit of information, we change. With every interaction, we have an opportunity to learn. And so, we're gently (or not so gently) schooled in human behaviour, and the way that the world works.

Every lesson that I learn gets filtered through all the previous ones. And I watch you, and listen to you, and think about what you say to me. And each lesson helps me to understand you. And the better I understand you, the better I understand how to tease you, and the better I understand what works or doesn't work for you.

For example, your growing interest in exhibitionism is something that you weren't aware of. Even as you made yourself more and more visible to the world in your vanilla life, I know that you've always harboured fantasies about being shown off, and teased, and played in public. I know that when I first brought it up, you were surprised and not a little disconcerted. I also know that making you do things in public, or threatening to do things to you in public, gets you hot and squirmy. I can feel it when I push you up against the elevator wall late at night - you're SO conscious of the camera and the mirrors, aren't you? You're incredibly turned on by the thought of some anonymous audience seeing you being treated that way.

For me, I keep learning new things about myself. Things that I like, things that I don't like, and things I never really thought about. I've learned about my fondness for spanking you. I've learned that I don't really like to use nipple clips on you. I've learned about the way I deal with crisis in my life from watching you go through your own crises. (They never seem to come one at a time, do they?)

I have so much to learn from you, angel. And so much to teach you - about me, about yourself, and about what we can do together. Every day with you teaches me something new about myself. Thank you for that, darling.

Neko

posted at 04:25 PM :: permalink :: Comments (3)
filed under observations

Friday, February 11, 2005
schedules and strategies

Dear busy angel,

How are we going to do it? How are we going to fit each other into our lives? Seeing you once a week is not enough. I want to see you more often. But there are things I can do to meet the needs that we both have for D/s in our lives.

It's hard to fit a relationship into a busy schedule. With us, it's doubly hard, because you have family and business issues to deal with, and I have family, business, and new job issues right now. In all of that, I find myself sitting at home, after a long day, thinking about you and what I'd like to be doing with (or to) you.

So how are we going to work it out, angel? What are we going to do so that we can maintain the happy balance between keeping a roof over our heads, keeping our families happy, and keeping our libidos well fed? I sat down and thought about it, and I've come up with a few ideas of things to try.

1. Assignments.
I've made assignments an irregular part of our relationship from the beginning. I know that when I began to give these assigments to you, you thought them somewhat odd. But I think that as time has passed, you've started to enjoy them, and even to look forward to doing them for me. Sometimes the assignments are simple, like "List 15 things that you'd like me to do to you, and write a paragraph on why". Sometimes, they may require more thought about your feelings, such as "Tell me why you want to be dominated by me". And sometimes, they're just ways of me making you explore your sexuality, such as "Go to at least three different sex stores, and get a clerk to take a picture of you with one sex toy you'd like used on you." None of these tasks takes very long. All are intended to make you think. And all are intended to let you know that I'm thinking about you, even if I can't be with you.

2. Steamy phone conversations.
This is an obvious and regular option available to us. In the past, we've managed to have long phone conversations, even when we can't get together. It's not nearly as good as spending time with you.

3. Sudden Domination
When we finally do get together, I will start a scene out of the blue, without warning you, or warming you up. I know that this makes you squirm, and I know that you love it when I do this. I'll make it particularly intense, and take you suddenly into subspace. If I can't take the time to properly tease you, I'll have to make do by compressing the experience into a shorter period of time.

4. More writing by both of us.
I'm going to do my best, now that my schedule is becoming clearer, to write you some stories and some provocative letters. I'll try to write you letters that are about things that I know you are curious about, and I'll get you write similar things to me. The advantage of this is that we can do it when we have time, rather than both of us having to be free at the same time.

I know - you're instant gratification girl, aren't you? That's one of the reasons that the slow, deliberate tease works so well on you. You want relief NOW - but the longer the teasing goes on, the bigger the payoff at the end.

I love you with all my heart, angel, and I miss spending time with you. But I know that eventually, our schedules will mesh, and we'll be able to spend long hours together, touching, teasing and pleasing. Till then, I'll be patient.

Neko

posted at 08:18 AM :: permalink :: Comments (1)
filed under musings

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