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updates and adjustments
Dear, darling angel,
It's happened. The Christmas season has snuck up and pounced on me, yet again. Every year, at this time, I seem to get swamped with responsibilities, changes, and the occassional weirdness.
This year, I'm just starting a new job, and it's taking some time to adjust to my new schedule. As a result, I'm shockingly behind in my letter writing. I know that you're happy for me, angel, as you showed me so thoroughly last week, but I'm not happy with myself. (I'm just as hard on myself as I am on you to complete your assignments, after all.) I have no doubt that when things settle down in the new year, I'll be back to writing you letters on a more regular basis.
The bondage Scrabble rules hang in limbo right now. (Hmmm - suspension play - now there's a thought!) They're a little too... complicated right now, and I want to take some time to simplify them. I know that you are anxious to read them, but I want them to be a little bit more playable.
I know that things are just as confused in your world, angel. We were going to go out to dinner with a friend of mine on Friday, and both our schedules got a little away from us, didn't they?
Your last email to me on Friday showed me just how frustrated and confused you were feeling. You'd been on the phone all afternoon with business calls, and I could read the increasing frustration in your text. Customers were giving you problems to deal with, they weren't doing what you wanted them to, and I know you were feeling frazzled.
Then there was the fact that we'd be having dinner with a friend of mine for the first time. As much as part of you loves the idea of being on display, another part of you is much shyer in meeting my friends. And this is NOT helped by the frustration you were feeling that day with the people on the other end of your business calls.
Do you ever wonder, angel, if you have a bad day because you want to be in a cranky mood, or if you have a bad day because you were in a cranky mood? I think it's a mix of both.
When I told you that friends of mine wanted to have dinner with us on Friday, I know that you were a little bit non-plussed. I heard it in your voice. That sort of "but I wanted to snuggle with you on the couch!" tone was there, but you said that you'd love to go. I know that my friends were very glad to have met you at the birthday party the other week. They've been curious about this angel I kept telling them about. But that puts you on the spot, doesn't it, angel?
So, when my new job was taking longer than expected to finish for the week, and your email came in telling me that you'd take longer to get ready than expected, I wasn't surprised - or disappointed.
But when I got to your place, I could see that you were expecting me to say something, or do something. You kept looking down at the floor when you talked to me. You were ready with excuses and reasons. That's why I took you into the bedroom, darling. That's why I had you stretch out across my lap. Not because I was upset with you, but because you needed a spanking to clear the air.
You were so good, sitting across my lap as I spoke to you. You were very clear on why you were getting a spanking. You even managed to take the first five strokes without whimpering. But then I started spanking faster, didn't I? It started to sting a little bit, from what I could tell. There's a wonderful rhythm that I get into when I start spanking you. First one cheek, then the other, then back again. And I could see that it was starting to penetrate your sulk. Especially when you reached back to protect your ass with your hand.
You know that's not allowed, don't you, angel? You weren't really surprised to find your hand trapped behind your back, were you? Once your hand was secured in mine, I started up again. And shortly after that, you started to cry. Deep, cleansing sobs into the pillows you were lying on. When I heard those sobs, I stopped spanking you, and let you lay across my lap. I listened to you sob, and I knew that you were getting out all the frustration and anger that you've been dealing with all week. I stroked your back, and your hair, while you cried. I told you that I was pleased with you, that your punishment was finished, and let you calm down until you could manage to pull yourself together.
I could see the change in you after that, angel. You'd become freer in some way than you'd been all week. I could see that something had lifted from your shoulders, and we had a lovely evening cuddling on the couch. And when we went to bed that night, I tried to show you how much I loved you, how much I cherish your presence in my life. It was a lovely weekend, angel, and I can't wait to spend time with you again, as soon as possible.
It's going to be chaotic for the next while, what with Christmas, my new job, and my vanilla life all in a muddle, but I'll soon be able to spend more time with you. I'm looking forward to giving you your Christmas presents, and seeing your smile as you open each one. Know that I'm thinking of you, and take care of yourself, angel.
Neko
posted at 08:53 PM :: Comments (3)
filed under events
comments on this entry
You provide for her on so many levels. Anticipating her needs and fulfilling them.
She is a lucky little brat, to be loved so fully. So completely.
She is indeed. And she tries very hard to never, ever take it for granted. Thank you for being such a light in my life.
— posted by: Neko's Angel on December 23, 2004 01:59 AMWant to read more? Visit the archives »
An especially beautiful letter Neko. I've told you before but I'll say it again, your angel is very blessed. Happy Holidays!
— posted by: Carrie on December 21, 2004 06:08 PM