Home: pleasure and tears

pleasure and tears

Dear angel,

We've been together for over four months now, and in that time, I've been closely monitoring your behaviour and reactions in different situations. I've learned to read certain signs of stress and tension. So, when I showed up for our date this week, I knew that something was up. And I knew that I could do something about it.

The evening started with a trip shopping. You told me that you were in a "pink mood", and had dressed in as much pink as you could find. As you dressed, you came out of the bedroom from time to time, and looked at yourself in the mirror. Now, since you wear pink to cheer yourself up, I thought that something might be up.

Once you were dressed, you started getting ready to go out, and I watched as your mood went from "glad to see me" to "bratty". It made me smile, as it always does, when you tried to sass me at every opportunity. I love that verbal teasing as much as you do. Especially since I know what to do about it if it gets out of hand.

When we returned, after a lovely dinner and conversation, I settled down on the couch with you to watch the movie I'd brought over. It was a sequel to something we'd both enjoyed, and it became obvious that you weren't enjoying the second movie as much as the first. But you kept watching it, waiting to see the outcome, waiting to see how the director was going to knit together all of the loose threads left in the first movie. When you got up for a break, half way through the movie, I figured that you weren't quite in the mood for the subject of the movie. So I decided to do something to improve your mood.

You sat at your computer, reading your email, as I moved behind you. I could feel you stiffen as my fingers stroked your nipples through your shirt. You tried to concentrate on the screen, but I was having none of that. Round and round my fingers circled, inexorable and, apparently, pleasant. Your soft moans of pleasure were soon heard and the email forgotten. Then I stopped and told you to come back to the movie.

You cuddled up with me on the couch to watch the movie, and I continued to play with your nipples as we watched. Gentle touches and occassional pinches kept you distracted till just before the climax of the movie. When you got up again, I knew that you didn't really want to watch the movie. When you returned and sat on my lap, facing me, I knew that you wanted something else. When you denied that you wanted it, I ordered you into the bedroom.

Were you disappointed when I tied your hands behind your back, angel? You didn't struggle at all. Were you surprised when I ordered you to bend over the bed, angel? Your protests sounded weak to me. Were you surprised when your skirt was lifted up off that lovely ass of yours? I don't think that you were. Your indignation was mild. And when I started to spank you, I could hear the relief in your voice as you counted each stroke for me.

The first few strokes definitely seemed to bring you into the moment. Gone was the distraction that had been pulling your attention far far away. Suddenly, you were focussing your attention on *now*, and all the things that have been demanding your attention lately seemed less important. As the strokes continued to fall, your voice changed a little. You were warming up to the spanking, and the work I was doing with my fingers was mixing pleasure with the sting. And by the last five strokes, I could see that I'd had the desired effect on you.

When I was finished, I had you stand up and face me. You looked so beautiful, angel. When I looked at you, and saw what you were feeling, I felt so very protective of you. I was proud of you for having taken all those strokes without losing count. And then the tears started to come.

I held you as you cried on my shoulder. I could feel so much tension leaving you as you did that, angel, that I was glad that I'd spanked you. I know how much you hate to cry in front of me, or in front of anyone, angel, but I knew you needed it. I held you close as the tears flowed, and laid with you till your need reasserted itself. I told you how much I admired you for shouldering your burdens. And I told you that I was there if you needed me, for anything.

And when your need awoke again, I took you, roughly and long, and showed you how very much I love you. I know that you've got a lot on your plate, angel. I know that you tend to bottle up your frustrations and fears inside yourself. But I'm not going to be angry if you cry. I'm not going to be disappointed, either. Or hurt, or turned off, or scared. I know you need to cry, angel.

I know you get a release when you cry, and you cry after I spank you. Don't be afraid to do that, angel. I don't think you're weak for crying. I'm grateful that I could reach that part of you that you shut off from the world. I'm proud that you're able to show your weaker side, when you show such strength and competence to the rest of the world. I'm honored when you choose my shoulder to cry on, and let *me* help you get through this part of your life.

I love all of you, angel. The weak parts with the strong. The brat with the obedient sub. You are my angel, and I am incredibly lucky to share my life with you.


posted at 11:51 AM :: Comments (5)
filed under events

comments on this entry

Yup. Sounds to me like you got a big case of loving that woman, Neko. Good job, my friend.


— posted by: Patrick H. on November 12, 2004 04:13 PM

Wait a minute, you've only been with your angel for four months! I can't believe that! You already know her so well! The two of you must be soulmates to have made such an amazing connection in such a short amount of time. I've been "lurking" for awhile but I felt compelled to comment. (uh oh, now you may never get rid of me! One posted comment is usually all it takes! LOL) Neko, it reads to me like you are a lucky pair to have found each other!
Smiles to you both!

— posted by: Carrie on November 12, 2004 08:15 PM

Be glad, Neko. She always leaves the sweetest comments all over my blog. Smiles.


— posted by: Patrick H. on November 13, 2004 02:13 AM

Patrick - yah, I'm head over heels. Happily, the feelings are returned, and how!

Carrie - It's true - if you read the archives, and read the first entry, you'll see that it was written just before our first date. I've been incredibly lucky to have found her, and I'll keep telling her that every day. And as for the comments, I'm always glad to get feedback.

— posted by: Neko on November 15, 2004 03:07 AM

Please forgive me Neko, if i intrude. Like Carrie, i am creeping out from under the stone which i have been peeking out from under! Your letters are wonderful.

— posted by: beauty on November 15, 2004 12:48 PM


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