Home: skills and characteristics

skills and characteristics

Dear angel,

As you know, I think about us a lot. There is so much to learn in this world, and the more I learn, the more I find that I need to know. When I'm with you, angel, I strive to be the best Dom that I know how to be. So far, it seems to be working. But I've found myself thinking about what it takes to be a Dom, and I've compiled a little list.

No doubt that this list is incomplete. There are probably things that should be added to it. There may be things on it that aren't as important to others as they are to me. Nonetheless, here are some things that I feel are important in my role as your Dom.

Tying Knots

As a bare minimum, a Dom needs to know a few basic knots. A Dom should know:

• 
  
• how to tie a reef knot
  
• how to tie a bowline
  
• how to tie a handcuff knot
  
• know when to use each knot
  
• know how to *untie* each knot
  
• know how tight to tie each knot
  

Tying the submissive

There are different reasons for tying up a sub. For each different reason, there is a different method. A Dom should know:

• 
  
• how to tie her for teasing
  
• how to tie her for spanking
  
• how to tie her for flogging
  
• how to tie her for display
  
• how to tie her for taking
  
• how to hogtie his girl
  
• how to tie his girl to the bed
  

The Toy Bag.

All toys must be stored in a proper fashion. For us, the toy bag is where we store all our various accessories. A Dom should:

• 
  
• take care of the rope and ensure that the ends are not frayed, and the rope has no weak spots or nicks.
  
• store the rope properly for quick and easy use.
  
• take care of the leather, ensuring that it is cleaned properly so that it will last a long time.
  
• take care of the toys, both "active" and "passive", to ensure that they are safe, clean, and still effective.
  
• ensure that there is an adequate supply of batteries for the toys.
  

Teasing

You know that I love to tease, angel. I find that teasing is an integral part of our relationship, and as such, there are some things that I need to know how to do. I have to know:

• 
  
• how to tease with my words
  
• how to tease with my touch
  
• how to touch lightly
  
• how to pinch to get your attention
  
• where to touch you to make you crazy
  
• when to touch you to make you crazy
  
• when NOT to touch you... to make you crazy
  
• your favourite positions
  
• your favourite activities
  
• your least favourite activities
  

Percussion

I *know* how you love to be spanked, angel. I know that the feeling of my hand on your ass turns you on. As your Dom I must know:

• 
  
• how to spank hard enough to arouse you
  
• how to spank hard enough to sting
  
• how to spank hard enough to hurt
  
• how to swing a crop to get her attention
  
• how to swing a crop to hurt
  
• how to swing a flogger well, hitting at *just* the right spot
  
• know when each is appropriate
  

Knowing my sub

This is more than just play, angel. You have taken a place in my heart, and I want to be your partner, and I want you to be mine. To ensure this, I have to:

• 
  
• listen to you, for listening leads to learning
  
• make you talk to you about your feelings and fantasies
  
• tell you about my fantasies and plans
  
• clearly communicate my wishes to you
  
• put himself in your shoes, so that I understand you better
  
• know why you want to submit
  
• know why I want to dominate
  
• know why I want to dominate *you*
  

Maintaining the relationship

Like all relationships, there are aspects of give and take. In our relationship, I have to:

• 
  
• know when to press you
  
• know when to take control
  
• know when to back off
  
• know that it's okay to back off
  
• how to make you blush
  
• how to make you squirm
  
• how to make you beg
  
• how to make you whimper
  
• how to make you feel safe
  
• how to take care of you after play is done
  

Protecting my sub

There will be times when you will find yourself beset with troubles, angel. Sometimes these troubles will be inflicted by others, sometimes they will be caused by your own actions. I have to:

• 
  
• know how to stand up for you
  
• know how to stand up for myself
  
• know how to stand up for us both
  
• know how to stand up to you, because you love being a brat, and I love that you are a brat.
  
• know when you need to be taken
  
• know when you need to be convinced
  

Dynamics

The relationship between a Dom and his sub is like any other relationship, only more so. There are equal parts indulgence and discipline. Control is given and taken at different times. As a Dom, I must:

• 
  
• be decisive - I can't let things hang between us. I have to make a decision and move on
  
• ask questions - remember that none of us are born with all the answers
  
• be adaptable - I have to deal with what life hands me in whatever way I can
  
• be creative - find new ways to tease you, to make you squirm
  
• pay attention to you - in and out of the bedroom
  
• let you please me - you want to give to me and see my pleasure
  
• let you serve me - it's an extension of pleasing me
  
• help you understand yourself - both kinky and non-kinky aspects
  
• help you understand me - both kinky and non-kinky aspects
  

As I said, angel, there are probably more things that I could add. I know there are probably some that I *should* add. But this list is some of what I'm thinking about when I'm not with you. These are some of the ways that I try to ensure that we stay together for a long time.

I know I'm looking forward to it.

Neko

posted at 12:57 PM :: Comments (2)
filed under observations

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